A Year in Movies

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Toward the end of 2017, I got into the habit of seeing one movie in theaters every single week. It became a steady part of my routine, so much so that I dedicated myself to seeing one movie a week every week of 2018 and keeping a rolling list.

I failed.

Not miserably so, I ended up being just 5 shy. Various weeks of extreme business and the inevitable business of the holidays prevented me from fully reaching my goal. Still, 47 movies in a year is not bad.
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Turkey and Gratitude

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Things I am thankful for:

  • Fallout 76. Thank you for reminding me that even things that I love will one day disappoint and betray me.
  • Donny Cates. For showing that sometimes the best way to create something new is by simply cramming two old things together and going with whatever the result is.
  • Netflix. Thanks for doing that jumpscare intro for a month or so around halloween. It’s good to know my heart is still healthy.
  • Leftovers. A month from now I will have something to do when I open the fridge, see the dozen or so tupperware and say “oh, ew, we still have leftovers.”
  • The 2018 Election. Thank you for showing that we live in a country where a state that is very evenly split between two parties will receive mockery and ire from the rest of the country instead of being praised as a prime example of democracy at work.
  • Keyforge. Randomly generate names for decks in an incredibly random card game? Cool idea. Who knew it would be the source of such simplistic comedy.
  • Food Network Cooking Challenges. Thank you for the opportunity to sit and be loudly judgmental of  someone else’s culinary abilities and choices. It’s the perfect accompaniment to my microwaved Spaghetti-O’s.
  • Son’y Spider-Man. Not really anything funny to say, just thank you. The whimsy and joy this game gave me was remarkable. I felt like I kid again the whole time. I can’t wait to play the DLC.
  • My three cats. Honestly, that whole desire to have a clean home was just getting in the way anyway. Good lookin’ out, cats.
  • Bradley Cooper. Thank you for making the bar of attractive male so incredibly high. Seriously, I was worried it would be too easy to be considered attractive. Handsome, funny, great beard, Well educated, multi-lingual, talented actor, talented voice actor and, thanks to A Star is Born, musically talented both on an instrument and in voice. Awesome. Thank you SOOOOO much, you ass.
  • The Haunting of Hill House. Thank you for bringing the hidden ghost concept to mind so now I can’t watch any show or movie or even walk through my own home without looking for subtle ghosts hiding somewhere.
  • White Barn 3-Wick Candles. It’s nice to have an addiction that at least smells good. Still an addiction, though. Seriously. This is a cry for help.
  • The people of New Orleans. I thought I knew what drinking was, but you guys showed me there is just like a whole other tier of drinking I didn’t know existed.

 

And of course, I am thankful for my awesome friends, wonderful family, and my lovely wife. Thank you to all those people for being in my life.

Now I better start cooking or those friends are going to beat me.

~C

Another Super Helpful Band Name Master List

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On occasion, my group of friends and I will say something and go “Golly! That would make a neato band name!”

We then form that band and play at the Riverdale High Pep Rally (Go Bulldogs). We look over and everyone has a good laugh as we catch Principal Weatherbee boogieing down! Meanwhile, there’s a commotion from the hall! Seems Miss Beazley caught Jughead in the pantry again!

Oh Jughead…

Seriously, Jughead. Get help, my dude.

Anyway, here is the second part of my ever growing list of band names that I actually have the forethought or sobriety to jot down. Enjoy!

  • Refugees Louise
  • Karmic Institution
  • The ILLbillies
  • MOOD (Melancholy Observations On Death)
  • Corn Dog Nuggets
  • Band Wanton
  • Gesticular Torsion
  • Pop, Lock and Crocs
  • Chug o’ War
  • #800000 V
  • President Weevil
  • Guy’s Flavor Town Hall
  • Professional Rossplayers
  • Barely Normal Activity
  • Galbladder
  • We Read Books
  • Towel Whip Assassin
  • Larry Berry’s Dairy Prairie
  • Karaoke Dokey!
  • The Waluigi Preservation Society
  • The Captain and Two Neals
    • Now FINDING two Neals might be tough for some people. I suggest just starting the band and then legally changing your name.
  • [Randall, Put the Band’s Logo Here Later]
  • Paper Wait
  • Aspic
  • Indie Group That Uses Big Words In Our Songs
  • Ass & Avocados
  • We Aren’t Real People
  • Thanos’s Ash Tray
    • Too soon?
  • Rocky Horror Powerpoint
  • Frankenstein`s Security Deposit
  • Bitin’ Wachootoos
  • Frijole Moly!
  • Eggs Cumberbatch
  • Grapple Pie
  • The What
  • The Why
  • The When
  • The How
  • The Where
  • The WhoWhatWhenWhereWhyHow
  • I’ll Be Bach
  • Here Today, Gone Tamale
  • Anti-Cripes
  • LED Orchestra
  • Three Random Bitches
  • Clog Cabin
  • Green Cockle Denomination
  • Foot Test Massage
  • Beast N’ Cheddar
  • Absolue Lack of Musical Ability (ALMA)
  • Alt-F4
  • Alt128701
  • Noir for Kids
    • With hits like “Jimmy Twitch ain’t gonna snitch” and “Who’s in the Trunk, Who’s at the Pier”
  • Elon’s Musk
  • Toy Hearse
  • (the) cold smoke
  • Pill-O-Talk
  • Bran’s Parachute
  • Lucky Harms
  • Yeet & Sour
  • Iron Laden
  • Trolling Stones
  • High Ground
  • When Doves Sigh all passive aggressively, y’know? Like they want you to know they’re mad, but they won’t just say that.

 

And there you have it! Select your favorite and then go bring music to whatever venue will be willing to give you drink tokens or a handful of crumpled ones to play for them!

Also, still #TeamVeronica.

~C

Roll Call: Miniatures

One common complaint I hear from GMs is the burden of having to collect a ton of various minis in order to represent characters and monsters on the table. Reasonably, it can be a bit of a pain, what with painted minis from WizKids only being available in randomized boxes. You can by them individually, but then you may be looking for upwards to 5-10 for a mini or even more if it’s a rare one. It’s true, many GMs actually enjoy the hunt for minis and building a solid collection, but for every one of those people there are one or more that either a) don’t have the means or b) don’t have the desire to through down $50 on a beholder just to move their campaign along. So real quick, let’s talk what options you have as a GM for physical representation on your board.

One thing to remember is that everyone is going to have their own opinions and preference as to which miniature style works best for them. By no means am I touting any one option as better than others, far from it. Like many things in this hobby, it really boils down to what works best for both the GM and the Players. My goal her is to just shed light on some other alternatives for tabletop representation.


 

Tyranny of Dragons #008 Human Paladin (C)

Pre-Painted Miniatures

Pretty much the industry standard for minis, these come in boxes of 4 randomized minis. They are pre-painted, which is nice for people who need their miniatures ready to use, but different sets have varying levels of quality when it comes to the paint job. Also, being that the boxes are randomized, they have rarity levels for the different miniatures available, meaning that beholder you just absolutely need may never come from one of the boxes without buying a hefty amount, and even then there’s only a chance you’ll get what you’re looking for. You can buy them in singles from various sources, namely eBay or websites like this one, but depending on the specific miniature, they can get fairly pricey, up into the $50+ range for one mini.

SUMMARY:

  • PROS:
    • Pre-Painted
    • Sold in boxes of 4
    • Lots of sets to choose from with different themes
  • CONS:
    • Sometimes poorly painted
    • Random boxes
    • Single minis can have high cost

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May All Standards Be Forgot

Well, here it comes. No matter how many times we defeat it, the year just pops back up in a new form with a different attack pattern that we have to learn on the fly. Multiple life bars are a pain, man.

Happy New Year, one and all! With 2018 coming around, I thought I’d do something I haven’t done in 3 years. So, let’s talk resolutions!

Aren’t resolutions a pain? Like, we’re being constantly told by people that we shouldn’t have them. That we should just live the year and not try to rigorously adhere to some promise we made ourselves before we knew what the world would be like after a tiny-handed narcissist Katamari’d his plump orange body all over it. SO glad I didn’t give up drunken political rants that my friends are TOTALLY into and enjoy hearing.

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Mordor Kombat: Fellowship of the PAIN

One day I sat and asked myself: What if Lord of the Rings was a brutal, stylized fighting game?

Hmmmm.


FIGHTERS:

Frodo Baggins

  • Fighting Style: Fast and nimble: Frodo is quick on his feet to stay just one step ahead of his enemies! It may look like he’s running away, but he is totally actually fighting, believe me. Well, maybe… NO yeah, he’s totally not running away. That’s crazy. Each strike Frodo throws is accompanied by his cries of battle, such vicious sounds as “eh” and “ugh” and other totally not whiney noises!
  • Fatality: Frodo disappears with Sam, leaving his enemy (and sometimes friends) to be captured and carried away by Orcs.

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Dream Casting vs Reality

So, flipping through a box of old comics, I find a copy of “Wizard” from August 1995. I open her up to find this:

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So I thought “hey, with the new cinema universe building and the Arrow-verse firmly settled, how does the ‘Dream Cast’ for JLA characters hold up to the ones that have actually BEEN cast?”

Let’s find out, shall we.


The Flash (Wally West)

Flash

Wizard Casting: Eric Stoltz

Actual Casting: Keiynan Lonsdale

Certainly a different direction taken. No telling at the time of writing this if Wally West will eventually become an actual Flash individual in the show (for the love of Infantino, just don’t call him “Kid Flash” pleeeeease). However, I am always in support of diverse casting and am, honestly, also in support of Eric Stoltz NOT getting cast as something, so it’s a win-win for the actual casting on this one. Also no confirmation on if Keiynan has a um…. “nicer butt” as per the Wizard article…

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Love a Good Clip Show!

Holy smokes! Been a year of blogging already? Wow…

Where did 2015 even go? Like, seriously…

Anyway, I’ve had a really great time keeping up with this random assortment of nonsense I call a “blog.” I hope you have all had a good time reading it.

Super big shoutout to those following this mess. You guys are awesome, but you seriously have terrible taste. Still, you are each extremely cool people. Each and every one of you. Thank you so much for the likes and comments over the year.

Here’s some quick stats on my site:

Most Viewed Post – The Most Important Post I Will Ever Make

Least Viewed Posts – Raphael Storms the Beach of Hitler’s Face or Excellent Cover Art: Before Watchmen

My Favorite Post – My Top Spider-Man Games or In Meowmoriam

My Least Favorite Post – Don’t Need to Hear About Your Poop…. (just not up to par, imo)

My Most Personal Post – Life Rushing At Me or Waking Up From Hibernation

There. Some stats I thought would be fun.

Anywho, thanks again for reading/liking/commenting. To my followers, a big super special thanks. I have been terrible about the whole “follow back” business, but by the end of the day, I guaranty to be following each of you. Just have been bad about it, like I said. It honestly stems from my Twitter days, where every Tom, Dick and Harry would pour out of the bowels of obscurity, follow an assload of people, demand #FOLLOWBACK, and then unfollow all of them so there page was all “12,467 followers, 2 followed.”

Twitter is full of jerks, you guys.

Here’s to another great year!

~C

A Day of Handing Out Thanks

Things I am thankful for:

  • Living in a world where I have access to all forms of information and knowledge right at my fingertips. How else would I get to satisfy my quest for knowledge with texts like “20 Harry Potter Plot Holes You May Have Missed” or “These Fancy Desserts Will Leave You Drooling”
  • Pugs. For proving that ugly things can be adorable too, you just have to be chubby, short and snort a lot. Seriously, Honey Boo Boo wanted to make sure I gave you guys a shout out.
  • Christian extremist protest groups. Thank you for proving that the sound of idiots yelling will eventually be drowned out by the collective “ugh” of society.
  • Marriage Equality passing all over the nation. With all these new rights being afforded people, our country might need to pick up a new nickname… Like… “Land of the Free,” or something.
  • Drake. For giving white guys who can’t dance the ability to just pretend to be doing a parody of Drake.
  • Superman. For being so unbelievably lame that I am able to easily determine people I do or do not want to have comic book conversations with after simply asking “so, who’s your favorite?”
  • The Media. Thank you news outlets for parodying yourselves so often that the rest of us no longer need to.
  • Donald Trump… No wait… no…. no thank you, Donald Trump.
  • Colorado. For getting the legalization train going, so that one of the most annoying subcultures will deliquesce, phrases like “blaze it up” and “blast a roach” will become mainstream, and some rappers will actually need to get cred in other ways, like being talented perhaps.
  • Troll 2. For being the best movie ever.
  • Valve Software. Thank you for teaching all gamers the concept of “you can crap in one hand and ask for Half Life 3 in the other and see which one gets filled first” while simultaneously proving that gamers are easily distracted from the prospect of new games by throwing drastically discounted old games at them.
  • Maximus Thor. For being the best thing on the internet.

And of course, I am thankful for my awesome friends, wonderful family, and my lovely wife. Thank you to all those people for being in my life.

Happy Pre-Christmas, everyone!

~C

Your Super Helpful Band Name Master List

From time to time, my group of friends and I will say something and go “Jeepers! That would make an excellent band name!”

We then form that band and play as Moose and Midge win the jitterbug competition. We then get a large trophy for having the “Swingingest Band in Riverdale,” but all Jughead cares about is the prize for All-You-Can-Eat sundaes at the Chok’lit Shoppe.

Oh Jughead…

Anyway, from time to time I actually write these band name ideas down. I found a bunch of them, and here they are. Enjoy:

  • Lyndon B. Zombie
  • Steak-knife Samurai
  • Butter Suit
  • Giggle Me Timbers
  • Pickle Sticklers
  • Cookies and Milf
  • Batman and Loggins
    •  NOTE: This could either be a Kenny Loggins cover band where you rework his lyrics to be about Batman or where you just sing Kenny Loggins songs like Christian Bale’s Batman.
  • Booty Pebbles
  • Hilary C. and the Benghazi Sensation
  • Zombie Gift Givers
  • Women’s Libido
  • Grave Lincoln
  • Dan Aykroyd
  • Spilled Ilk
  • Polychronic
  • Foie Gras
  • Spud & the Gravy
  • Chocolate Silk
  • Hymen Says
  • Corridor and Grain
  • Rainbow Ninja Parade
  • Captain Punch
  • Clark’s Super Panties
  • Dive Bar Swag
  • We Can’t Afford Real Instruments
  • Camera Angel
  • Bromatic Scales
  • Snape Kills Dumbledore
  • Thank You, Come Again!
  • $¥$₮€₹
  • Discotheque Tape Deck
  • String Cheese Bikini
  • Hedgehog and the Polysonics
  • Jersey Turnpike
  • Red Wedding Caterers
  • Crowdfunded Tater Salad
  • Dick Schlongstein
  • What Barack is Cookin’
  • Aroma Parody
  • Burt Peart’s Dirt Shirt
  • Santa Says I’m Poor
  • Disappointing Relations
  • Kaitlin and the Pile-Ups
  • It’s Not a Tuba!
  • Kafkaesque Burlesque
  • Scrambled Dregs
  • Wesley Crusher Fan Club
  • nononononononononononononono
  • Twerk du Soleil
  • Occupy Valles Marineris

There you go. Get out there and rock the socks off some unsuspecting dive-bar patrons.

Hope you enjoyed the Archie references. (Seriously though, #TeamVeronica)

~C