Tales from the Shop: (In)Appropriately Timed Lyrics

So here’s a thing that happened to me.

At the shop I work at, we listen to random playlists created by the other guy that works there. These playlists are huge and extremely varied, typically consisting of anything from Hall and Oates to Daft Punk to Sleigh Bells to Vampire Weekend to Prince to Van Morrison and beyond. However, sometimes they fall into a theme, namely when we occasionally have a playlist consisting entirely over covers.

The other day we had one of the covers playlist rolling and a song came on that I just couldn’t place. I liked it and recognized elements, but couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

At that point, a woman came into the store. She was nice, cute and a little on the bigger side (not that there is anything wrong with it, it is just relevant to the story).

I greeted her as per norm, but continued trying to decipher the song.

Our conversation went as follows:

Me: How are you today?
Woman: Fine, thank you!
*We exchange polite smiles as she proceeds into the shop*

♫ Oh, you gotta take me home tonight ♫

My Brain: What is this damn song?
Me: Is there anything I can help you find?
Woman: No, I’ve just never been in here and figured I’d check it out.

♫ Down beside that red fire light ♫

My Brain: Wait…
Me: Well, if you need any help finding anything, let me know!

♫ Oh you gotta let it all hang out ♫

My Brain: Oh God, no….
Woman: Thank you so much!
Me: Not a problem!

*We again exchange polite smiles. As we do, the silence of the room merely seems to amplify the next line of lyrics.*

♫ FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKING WORLD GO ROUND! ♫

*She silently looks at me, I silently look at her. She clears her throat and psuedo-calmly begins perusing comics. I go back to my sorting job, sufficiently awkwarded.*

Damn you, Freddy Mercury and your lyricism…

~C

My Top Spider-Man Video Games: Part 2

Alright, back to it. My final favs.


Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage

This game from 1994 was one of my absolute favorites on the SNES, partly because it featured some of my all-time favorite Marvel characters, and partly because the actual gameplay is just plain enjoyable and filled with bone-crunching punch/kick action with over-the-top SFX. Plus, the cartridge was red and all my friends were jealous of my red cartridge.

In fact, this game holds the title for multiple firsts. To begin with, it is the first time in video games that players were given the opportunity to play as the Lickitung’s mentor, Venom. This is significant since, if most young boys in the 90s were like me, playing as Venom made one feel like some sort of psychotic badass with a lust for flesh. His play style is just so downright angry, grabbing people with his tentacly arm and throwing people around like Martin Lawrence when the caterer doesn’t provide the exact cracker to Duck Tartar ratio. And the whole while he just stands their licking his chops, all hungry and horny for more beat ’em up juice.

This game is also the first time a video game was based directly on a popular storyline in the comics. In fact, the games cut-scenes actually feature (slightly) animated versions of some of the artwork from the books. This finally bridged the gap, meaning from hence forth the video game world could have its digital foot stamped firmly in the door of comic books, as if to say “I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME, GODDAMMIT! WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER, BABYCAKES! Now, kiss me.” There is a soft embrace between the two lovers. The camera slowly zooms out before fading to black, thus establishing a future where video games about super heroes will forever be 100% true to character and will always be super awesome.

Or Not. COUGHsuperman64COUGH

Finally, this game is also the first Spider-Man game to receive a Teen rating (on Genesis), which is pretty legit. Take all these firsts, mix in an awesome Streets of Rage style of gameplay, some wicked sound effects and a rocking soundtrack written by the band Green Jelly, and you’ve got yourself a Spidey game for the ages.

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My Top Spider-Man Video Games: Part 1

Spider-Man is in many ways one of the most recognizable superheroes ever produced. This is interesting when you consider that most of us find little enjoyment in watching/reading about a pasty nerd from Queens as he deals with life, girls and bullies. Even more repulsive is the thought of this whiny dork confronting life’s woes through a thin veil of bright red spandex. However, mix in some tasty spidery powers and a healthy dose of wise-cracking/face-punting and we will gladly overlook all levels of bitchery and bulging nerd crotch.

We love Spider-Man. If you claim to not love Spider-Man, you are probably doing so just for attention. If you are friends with someone who claims to not love Spider-Man, take it as a cry for help and set up a time to hold an intervention to discover the root of their issues and what is causing them to act-out lately. Because ultimately any argument about this character comes down to one main conclusion: EVERYONE LOVES SPIDER-MAN. There are simply varying degrees of love, but there is no hate or “do not love.” This is mainly because, like Batman (who is also immune to your hatorade), Spider-Man is one of the easiest superheroes in town for us to relate to. When we watch or read about Pete flying around, kicking reptiles in the teeth or porking red-heads, we see ourselves. Spider-Man represents basic social and coming-of-age issues that we have all experienced. Even all his baddies (which are all so freaking insane) can all be seen as metaphors for common life concerns, such as duality or paranoia. It’s what would happen if Neil Gaiman just got crazy high one day and started rewriting excerpts of a middle-schooler’s MySpace page. We love Spider-Man because he is still primarily founded in the real world. The real world plays a indispensable role in almost all of his plots and is even, one could say, his arch-nemesis. He isn’t like Superman or Captain America, who have mixed the real world with their criminal-dick-punching lifestyle. He works to find balance and stresses over scheduling issues. He misses classes and fails tests. He has to set up dates around his busy work schedule, all while finding the time to judo flip some fat dimwit who’s running around in rhino pajamas.

This love of Spidey has led to endless stories and reincarnations in comics, toys, movies, cartoons and, of course, video games. Over the years, Spidey’s appearance in video games has achieved a bit of infamy, due to the sheer amount of all the games. Many of these games can come out feeling cheesy or rushed. Many take on a zany feel, looking like someone took a completely unrelated game and slapped Spider-Man on it straight Doki Doki Panic style in order to cash in on the Spider-Market. However, the Web Head has been the focal point of many a good game, and I intend on bringing what I feel are the best to light.

Now, I honestly cannot find a way to rank these, as they are all so different. Thus, I am going to list them in chronological order instead. Just keep that in mind.

Spider-Man: The Video Game

Starting this bitch out old-school. For the kiddies in the room, video games once came in giant boxes found in places known as “arcades.” This wonderful arena for the virginal were where we would have to go in order to get some of the more intense gameplay and better graphics in video games at the time. When I myself was a wee lad, I enjoyed the crap out of this particular game when I would visit my local arcade. Granted, the machine I played it on was already probably about 2 years old, being that I didn’t evolve into my gaming motor skills until around 1993. This console premiered in 1991 and was produced by an obscure company named SEGA. It was also fantastically well received and is often mentioned as one of the better arcade adventure games of all time.

The game was a side-scrolling beat-em-up with all the finesse of a Jean Claude Van Damme movie. The point was simple: walk to the right, occasionally jumping on or over stuff in order to reach the end of the level and uppercut the boss square in his nefarious nuts. As you progressed, you would be barraged by a plethora of multi-colored thugs, each color signifying that the baddy will have a different ability/pain tolerance. Occasionally, the screen pulls out and you are left jumping on tiny platforms and avoiding falling debris before you land safely on a larger platform surrounded by colorful whooping ninjas.

Similar to Streets of Rage or, my personal favorite, The Simpsons Arcade game, you have the choice of selecting one of four separate characters. One of my favorite aspects of this game is the character choice. Obviously, you can choose Spider-Man, as well as his feline-themed lust-mongering friend, Black Cat. I always thought the other two choices were interesting. Instead of throwing down the boring card and utilizing one or two X-Men or even Captain America, this game adds Hawkeye and Submariner into the roster. True, Submariner was much more popular back in the 90’s than he is today and both characters had a tendency to work with Spidey now and then, as did quite a few characters in the Marvel Universe. I just think it’s interesting that they selected either of these characters to introduce here during a time when Spider-Man and the X-Men were the big ticket items. Seems like putting them together could make for a game that is both absurd and obviously trying to suckle at the “Kids will buy what looks cool” teat…*

*Foreshadowing

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Raphael storms the beach of Hitler’s face

Remember that time a giant turtle punched Hitler square in his Chaplin ‘Stash?

Now you do:

Hitler

Was going through some old comics and stumbled upon this gem from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #64.

I have absolutely zero context for this scene having not the full story arc and having never read this particular book.

And I intend to keep it that way.

It’s better on its own.

Get it, Raph.

~Cowabunga

More Like BORED Games…

Let’s face facts, the classics never die, but they also never really improve to awesome. There’s only so many times you play 6 hours of Monopoly only to land on someone’s Boardwalk with like fifty hotels as they smirk and go “uh oh, I don’t think you’ll have enough” and all you want to do is punch them in their stupid face but you can’t because it’s your nephew and he’s like 5, which stings even more.

Well, as my continuing attempt to improve the world, I have come up with a few variations on classic games to make them, I don’t know… more… creative, I suppose. (Note: These are probably more enjoyable with booze)

Here it is. My List of Variations on Classic Boardgames (that there’s a Google line, yessir):

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Co-opoly:

  • Need: One copy of Monopoly (any variation), 4 or 6 players, two unclaimed game pieces (two different coins would also work)
  • Summary: Players will form businesses and acquire property from a collective pool of money. A randomly controlled piece will represent the fluctuating nature of the economy, and ultimately screw some people over.
  • Rules:
  • Split into two/three teams of two.
  • Divvy out the money as per the core Monopoly rules, giving each player the designated amount of bills, however each teammate’s money will ultimately be combined to form that team’s money pool.
  • Come up with goofy team names, preferably representing your business name.
  • Each player needs their own game piece despite being on a team. They will move across the board individually and be able to buy property and whatnot on their own. However, their money for these activities will come from their team money, meaning it would be important for them to discuss any acquisitions with their business partner.
  • NOTE: This is why it is important for team money to be combined, despite players still moving and acting individually.
  • Team order should progress so that one member of each team goes before the member of the other team. Thus, with two teams, the order would be ABAB, and with three it would be ABCABC
  • The game proceeds like normal, going until only one business is not bankrupt or until players are bored and it’s 5 in the morning.
  • There are three main rule changes:
  • Jail- If one player ends up in jail, they are in there for some sort of corporate fraud or insider trading. As such, their teammate is an accomplice. The player in jail has three rounds to roll doubles with no option to pay a $50 fine to get out of jail. After those three rounds, their partner joins them in jail as an accomplice. Both players now have three rounds to get out of jail or can pay a joint ($50 x 2 = $100) fine. One player may not leave jail without the other, so if one player decides to skip the rolling, he must also post bail for his partner. If they fail to roll doubles after three rounds, they have to play the $100 fine.
  • Swedish Bank Account- If a player lands on any space that provides them with money (I.E. Chance Cards, Passing “GO,” Free Parking, Etc.) They have the option to set aside any portion of this money as their “luxury fund.” Essentially, this money can come in and out of play at that players leisure and represents their personal bank account. All payments for property tax and whatnot will come directly from the company’s funds, but the players with private accounts can supplement their company’s account as they see fit. At the end of the game, if a player’s company goes belly up and she has more personal funds than her teammate, then she gets the pleasure of having lost less than her partner and can rub it in his face that he’s in the poor house and she is sipping pina coladas in Maui. There is little benefit to the private accounts except to help regulate funds, keep money from an over-eager partner, and to have some sweet bragging points to ruin a friendship. However, if a player’s partner feels that person is setting aside too much and not investing back into their company, they can have that person arrested for laundering. The whole thing goes to court, which is represented by both players rolling a D6. If the defendant rolls higher, they have to pay a $200 payment for lawyer fees, but ultimately get off scot-free. However, if the accuser rolls higher, then the defendant goes to jail for D6 turns and all their private account is dispersed, with half going into the bank and half going to charity funds (Free Parking). The company has to pay $100 to the bank for lawyer fees.
  • Boom and Recession- These economic cycles are represented by the two unclaimed game pieces on the board. The Boom piece moves anytime doubles are rolled (even if rolled by a player in jail). It moves the amount rolled. If Boom lands on a space owned by a player it provides that player with 2D6 x 10 dollars (for example, if it rolls a 5, the company gets $50). On a roll of doubles, that player can chose to either A) take $$$, B) place a house on that space for half price or C) take a chance card. If Boom lands on a space with a player, that player receives $200, like passing GO. The Recession piece moves every time a 6 is rolled. Unlike the Boom, the Recession rolls a separate movement die, which is one D6. If the Recession lands on a place owned by a player company, that company loses 2D6 x 10 dollars (for example, if it rolls a 5, the company loses $50). On a roll of doubles, disaster has occurred and the space loses one house in addition to the amount displayed on the dice (if a space has a hotel, it is reverted down to four houses). If the Recession lands on the same space as a player, that player loses 1D6 x 100 (so, on a roll of 5, that player loses $500). On a roll of 6, the company is being audited and players can either A) pay the $600 or B) go to jail.

Jules Winnfield the Game:

  • Needs: A Copy of Guess Who, 2/4 players, booze
  • Summary: Players compete in a charades style game of Guess Who, where the only thing they can ask is “Does he look like a bitch?” with different body language and inflection to accompany.
  • Rules:
  • Game plays exactly like a game of guess who, where opposing players take turns trying to guess the character that the other player selected by asking relevant questions.
  • However, these players are all taking the role of Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction and can thus only ask the all important question “Does he look like a bitch?”
  • It’s up to them to use proper inflection and body language to relay what their actual questions is, and it’s up to the person across from them to understand it.
  • Play continues until one player reduces their board to all but one character. They then shout “DOES Character Name LOOK LIKE A BITCH!” If they are correct, they win. If they are wrong, they lose.
  • A 3rd and 4th player may be added as teammates who work as spotters to streamline the game a bit. These spotters will sit with the opponent of their team and watch. If at any point the opponent drops the tile for the character your team has selected, the spotter will call it out and the opponent automatically loses. The addition of the spotter is simply to end the game early if there is any miscommnication.
  • This game will most DEFINITELY result in a lot of people not guessing correctly. It’s more fun for the rare chance that someone actually succeeds.
  • With the above note, this would probably be more fun with alcohol involved.

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Anti-Trust-Opoly:

  • Needs: Two copies of Monopoly, 4-6 players
  • Summary: Players compete with one person (representing the Big Corporation) has considerably more funds and resources than the others
  • Rules:
  • Decide who will be playing the Big Corporation; all other players will be the Small Businesses
  • Divvy out the money to all the Small Businesses as per the Monopoly rules. The Big Corporation player will get X times the starting amount, where X equals the amount of Small Businesses (Thus, if there are 4 Small Business players, the Big Corporation starts with 4 times the starting amount). This is why you need two copies of monopoly, because you will probably need to let the Big Corporation player have his own set money.
  • Remove all “get out of jail free” cards from the decks
  • Each Small Business starts with one randomly selected property in their control. The Big Corporation player should be the one to shuffle and distribute these properties.
  • The Big Corporation will always go first and the play order proceeds clockwise from that player
  • Jail- if the Big Corporation goes to jail, they follow the same rules as found in classic Monopoly. If the Small Businesses go to jail, they have three turns to roll doubles. If they fail, they must give a property (randomly selected) to the Big Corporation. If they do not have any property, they are considered bankrupt and are out of the game.
  • The Big Corporation wins if they own X complete sets of properties, where X equals the original number of Small Businesses. A complete set is when a player owns every card in a particular color, railroad or utility.
  • If a player is knocked out of the game, the Big Corporation DOES NOT now have to collect one less complete set. The number is based on how many Small Businesses were present AT START OF GAME
  • The Big Corporation CANNOT include the two utilities as their complete sets. They may still buy these, but they cannot win with them.
  • The Big Corporation also wins if all Small Businesses are bankrupted.
  • The Small Businesses win if they bankrupt the Big Corporation or if each Small Business owns a complete set and can hold on to them for three rounds. In other words, once the last Small Business to acquire a complete set purchases their last needed card, it must make it fully around the turn order to that person three times without a) a Small Business losing a property b) the Big Corporation gaining the required amount of complete sets. The person who was last to complete a set will be the last player to go.
  • If one person is knocked out of the game, and the remaining businesses all have complete sets, this begins the win scenario. The three turns will begin with the next Small Business player to go after the player is eliminated.
  • The Small Businesses CAN include the Utilities as their complete sets.
  • If at any point a Small Business manages to meet the win condition for the Big Corporation, their business has become a Big Corporation and immediately defeats all other players (i.e. if a Small Business collects X complete sets, they have ousted the original Corporation as dominant and instantly win the game, screwing over the smaller, weaker businesses that once were their compatriots).
  • NOTE: Though small businesses are technically on a team, they are still REQUIRED to pay when landing on another player’s property. They may be friends, but this is business, people…

Reflecting on Life:

  • Needs: One copy of The Game of Life
  • Summary: Now aged and resting, players reminisce on their lives leading up to their current situation.
  • Rules:
  • The focus of this game is more to be narrative and silly than have a defined winner and loser
  • Players take on the roles of elderly people sitting around a table reminiscing about their lives.
  • At the start of the game, each player selects a piece, randomly chooses an occupation, and selects how many kids they want or if they have a spouse, and randomly selects a house.
  • Play proceeds as is usual in this game, except players will be moving backwards across the board, starting at what is typically the finish.
  • Players need to be in character and narrate as things happen in their lives. All cards involving career or housing change happen in reverse (i.e. changing jobs, you will explain why you went from being a doctor [your new card] to being a plumber [your starter card])
  • Any acquisition of large sums of money must also come with a story of how you lost that money in the past.
  • Landing on marriage or child related spaces result in a loss of that family piece.
  • The fun of this game comes from the stories you make up and the fact that INEVITABLY something won’t match up. Say, for instance, someone starts with only two kids, but then draws lands on ANOTHER kid space, having no kids to remove. This should be narrated with some sort of funny anecdote like “A yes, my eldest child, Bernie. I try to forget about Bernie. On account of his tastes in men. Or something to that effect.
  • This is more a narrative, role playing type game akin to Fiasco and other freeform RPG’s. Players should feel free to go crazy and have fun with their characters.

I might have more at some point, but this is all for now. Get out there and play!

~C

Been Ramblin’

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Good Morning, all!

Sorry I’ve been away. Went on my honeymoon recently and between travelling and sight-seeing, hadn’t had much time to produce any posts. But I’m here now, so everything is right with the world.

The wifey and I decided that for our honeymoon we wanted to take a road trip, experience some places we hadn’t been before. So we traveled up the coast to Philadelphia and Boston, then hit the Outer Banks on our way back down. It was an awesome experience, though definitely a cold one for our sun-soaked Florida bones.

We mostly just hung out in the cities. Did a handful of touristy things: Got a cheesesteak in Philly, went to Walden Pond, walked around Harvard and gawked at students, etc. But mostly, we just hung out: checking out bars and shops, finding hole in the wall restaurants, and just generally enjoying ourselves. One thing we decided a long time ago (and this may be why we get along so well) is that we love travel, but we don’t feel like travelling benefits from being held to a rigid itinerary.

Sure, any time you visit a place, you should have a definite list of things you want to do, but by no means should you plot out every hour of every day. The experience benefits from being allowed to be more free-form, more organic. And really, that’s what travel is all about: An exciting, unpredictable experience. Not that an overplanned trip wouldn’t be fun at points, but it just feels so formulaic, so rigid. When you travel, you should be open to surprises, to new and exciting adventures. Be impulsive once in a while. Get lost somewhere. Not knowing what might be around the next corner just makes the experience that much richer.

For me, experiences are everything. Again, that’s why Tee and I decided on a roadtrip. The journey and voyage are more important to us than just a few nights at a luxury hotel on a beach or at a theme park. Seeing new things, meeting new people, and experiencing something different is much more important. All in all, we just love to travel, so much so that for the past few years, we have opted out of getting each other physical Christmas presents so that we can instead use the money on a holiday time adventure. Wanderlust is our friend.

To end this post on my typical weird note, I did notice something interesting on our travels. Each state has a certain theme in the billboards that you find along the road. Obviously, not all billboards are about one singular topic, but some states have billboards that appear much more frequently than ads for food places and truck stops. Here’s a quick list of some of the weird ones:

Florida – Anti-Abortion
Maryland – Human Trafficking
New Jersey – Anti-Vaccine
Massachusetts – People just generally being shot
South Carolina – Canned Goods

Seriously, there was a sign about canned something every single mile in South Carolina. It’s like nobody in SC eats anything unless it comes from a can. It was crazy.

~C

Awesome Fun Time Over: Now Returning To Real World

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Last week was eventful mainly because…

I got hitched!

Yes, yes, someone finally made an honest woman out of me.

er… uh… man…

Thank you to everyone who came and braved the sunshine to be with Tee and I. It really meant a lot to see everyone who came down to Saint Augustine and had fun with us. We had a blast and are so very tired and sun-burnt.

Also, I finally no longer have to call Tee my “fiance” which is just an awkward word.

Yep, she’s my “ball and chain” now. Much better.

Admittedly, though, it’s very bittersweet that the wedding is over. Tee and I have been living together for almost a decade before even tying the knot, so there isn’t a lot of the “newlywed” mystique. We gave ourselves a long engagement and spent the better part of a year planning and saving for this shindig, and now it’s just over. Kind of bumming me out.

That’s the worst part of vacations, though: The week back. It always seems rainier/ cloudier/ busier/ more boring than any other week. It’s like you spent so much time looking forward to something, and then it’s over and the future looks like this gray mass of monotony that will never end.

That is, until you plan something else.

See, I feel like life should be about adventure. Call it escapism, call it wanderlust, whatever, but travel, adventure and spontaneity blended together all make life enjoyable, in my opinion. I feel like life should be lived from adventure to adventure. Give yourself something to look forward to. When that fun vacation ends, plan a new one! Like me, for instance, awesome week with my closest friends and family in Saint Augustine is over, and that bites, but already I am planning:

  • My Honeymoon Roadtrip for April
  • A weekend in Daytona at the end of summer with my friends
  • A Vegas trip for next year (co-planned by my bud/best man Ryan)

Now, I’m sure there are a lot of live-in-the-moment peeps that are thinking “if you live only in the future, you miss the present,” and honestly, I agree. The planning just helps the day by day seem worth it. It isn’t to say that you should live your life only looking forward to what comes next, but having something to be excited about makes the harder days/weeks/months seem a little easier to cope with.

But we should live in the moment as well. Adventure doesn’t have to be planned or follow itinerary. Sometimes it’s as simple as doing something out of the ordinary. Take a quick daytrip to somewhere an hour or so away. Go see a movie late at night even though you have work in the morning. Check out a new restaurant or bar on the other side of town. Check out a shop you’ve never been in before even if it maybe doesn’t sell things you necessarily care about. Just mix things up.

Routine is good, when it involves accomplishment and making yourself better. When it consumes every hour of your day by making each passing moment identical to its predecessor, then it becomes deadly. Don’t waste your life doing the same thing day by day until you realize there is not time left. Mix it up. Live by living.

Anywho, thanks again to everyone who joined us for the wedding. It was a beautiful day and I am glad to have shared it with everyone who came.

Now, back to work.

~C

How hard is it to not be a slob? (Part 2)

The epic saga continues.

Seriously, though… People are gross. Like, have you ever been in close proximity with someone you know did not bathe and probably hasn’t for days. Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t bathe every day, but good Lord, bro… how do you not smell yourself?

BO bothers me… and bad breath… pet peeves, I guess. Just try to smell nice… please.

Totally unrelated rant…

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How hard is it to not be a slob? (Part 1)

So, I was a property manager for two years, and the one thing I noticed across the board with multiple residents from multiple different backgrounds is this: People just generally don’t know how to clean ANYTHING. Their bathroom. Their kitchen. Their bodies. It’s gross. People are gross. You are probably gross. Shame on you.

Apartment living sucks ass, let’s just get that out of the way. Sure, on site maintenance and pest control are fantastic things to have, but the negatives stack up. You are surrounded by strangers that can turn into different strangers right around the time you get to know them. There are noises everywhere, worse if there are many kids in your neighborhood. It’s nice having a pool and gym, but it would be nicer if everyone in the community wouldn’t try to use these amenities at the exact time you wanted to use them. Then of course there is the ever-present horror demon known as the “LandLord,” a fat, conniving piece of garbage who wants nothing more than to come up with reasons to take your money (I’ll cover property manager stigmas in a different post).

I can’t tell you how many people I levied cleaning charges to that came back with a firm “but we cleaned!” Okay, champ… you swept and maybe vacuumed one room. Cleaning goes beyond surface wiping and getting all your stuff out of the cabinets (which typically wasn’t done anyway). Around this time they’d claim they tried to clean the caked black mold from around their tub but it was too haaaaaard or ask if they could have another hour/day to clean the things I listed. Tough titties, sport! Give me my money!

Now, I’m not seeking charges and fees, quite the opposite. In my time as a property manager, I would like nothing more than to inspect a wonderfully clean apartment. It saves me time and money if I only have to send carpet cleaners in or have my team do a quick wipe down. But that was rarely the case. Reason being that dirt builds up, even if you’re only in a place for a year. And most busy, working individuals see regular cleaning as just another thing taking up their precious time (especially true with college kids). What most people don’t realize is sustained cleaning is remarkably easy. Granted there will be things that take time, a la vacuuming and doing the dishes. But there are quite a few simple things you can do to cut down on some of the harder cleanable areas.


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