Tales from the Shop: (In)Appropriately Timed Lyrics

So here’s a thing that happened to me.

At the shop I work at, we listen to random playlists created by the other guy that works there. These playlists are huge and extremely varied, typically consisting of anything from Hall and Oates to Daft Punk to Sleigh Bells to Vampire Weekend to Prince to Van Morrison and beyond. However, sometimes they fall into a theme, namely when we occasionally have a playlist consisting entirely over covers.

The other day we had one of the covers playlist rolling and a song came on that I just couldn’t place. I liked it and recognized elements, but couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

At that point, a woman came into the store. She was nice, cute and a little on the bigger side (not that there is anything wrong with it, it is just relevant to the story).

I greeted her as per norm, but continued trying to decipher the song.

Our conversation went as follows:

Me: How are you today?
Woman: Fine, thank you!
*We exchange polite smiles as she proceeds into the shop*

♫ Oh, you gotta take me home tonight ♫

My Brain: What is this damn song?
Me: Is there anything I can help you find?
Woman: No, I’ve just never been in here and figured I’d check it out.

♫ Down beside that red fire light ♫

My Brain: Wait…
Me: Well, if you need any help finding anything, let me know!

♫ Oh you gotta let it all hang out ♫

My Brain: Oh God, no….
Woman: Thank you so much!
Me: Not a problem!

*We again exchange polite smiles. As we do, the silence of the room merely seems to amplify the next line of lyrics.*

♫ FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKING WORLD GO ROUND! ♫

*She silently looks at me, I silently look at her. She clears her throat and psuedo-calmly begins perusing comics. I go back to my sorting job, sufficiently awkwarded.*

Damn you, Freddy Mercury and your lyricism…

~C

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