Breaking Coverage: Red Sonja Tarzan #2

Oh neat! Number 2 of this fairly entertaining crossover by the wonderful Gail Simone! Let’s have a look…

red sonja tarzan

Nice! Wait….

red sonja tarzan

AAAAaaaaaah, dear God!

Damn, dude…. Tarzan looks less than excited to be there. And look at Sonja, just all smiles and poses. Tarzan looks like that cheerleader in high school that goes away for the summer, becomes goth, but still keeps the same group of friends and goes to the mall and shit with them once the school year starts back.


(Dear Lord, what have I done)

The easy thing to do would be to say this looks less like Tarzan and more like George of the Jungle, but that would be insulting to George. This looks more like Jimmy of the Streets of Brooklyn and he’s very curious where that $2,000 you owe him is.

Okay, but let’s think on this for a bit…..

MAYBE, this is the BEST representation of Tarzan we’ve seen.

I mean, come on… He’s the Ape Man (Man-Ape?), he’s not really supposed to look like he just walked in from an episode of True Blood. He lives in a friggin JUNGLE. Jungles are dirty and full of bugs and humid as hell. Heck, I live in Florida, and people here look worse than this after just walking from their car to the store.

So, okay, here we have a primal, dirty, extra-muscley and not very pretty Tarzan, but mayyyyyyybe that’s how he’s supposed to be. I mean, don’t quote me on this, but I believe Edgar Rice Burroughs was trying to make a statement that even less-than-attractive people can be heroes and find love. Maybe he was making a case for people that DON’T look like Swedish Movie stars or Disney characters with cool dreadlocks.

Image result for edgar rice burroughs

Hi, Ed!

But again, don’t quote me on that.

So, hey, you do you, ugly Tarzan, you tree-branch surfing bastard!

(What do you mean he didn’t do that in the original stories?)


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