Guest Post: I Am A Turkey Sandwich

Personally, this month has been a very enjoyable month for me on this blog. I love writing blogs, but I REALLY enjoyed hitting up people in my life that I care about and respect and saying “Write whatever you want.” I think honestly, in the realm of writing, we have this very restrictive stigma. People too often write what other people want. They write for what they think will sell. They write for a school assignment. Rarely do they just sit down and say “Yo, what thoughts do I have that I wanna get out?”

Thank you to everyone involved. Gonna have to do a guest post thing more often. Maybe once a month. I’ll look at the logistics.

Anywho, closing out this month with a lady I’ve always known to be unafraid to speak her mind. My sister in law is a mother of 3 (including 1 set of twins), an Air Force Vet, and a generally fantastic/inspirational human. How my brother ever tricked her into marrying him, I’ll never know. We’re all still figuring it out, really.

Thanks again to all who read and wrote! Much love!                                        ~C


I like turkey sandwiches. It’s pretty much one of my favorite things in the world. You could say I’m a connoisseur of two things: cheap red wine and the turkey sandwich. White bread, swiss cheese, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, and sliced turkey. I’m getting hungry just typing that. They’re simple and always yummy. It’s relatively hard to screw up. You can spice them up with bacon or sliced avocado (Panera has an amazing Turkey Avocado BLT…). A fancy bread or a good old sourdough can really make or break it. At the core though, a turkey sandwich is simple; and I like that. 

I relate to it. My life has been by no means simple or boring, but there is something about a turkey sandwich that I love because I find comfort in it. It’s plain and simple, what you see is what you get. You can dress it up, change the bread, add a new cheese. But at it’s core aturkey sandwich is still a turkey sandwich, and I like that. I like vanilla ice cream and pepperoni pizzas for the same reason. It’s not that I’m not adventurous or anything. I’m more than willing to give anything (food, music, movies) a try at least once. I just appreciate the classics.

My love of all things boring has become a running joke in my family to be honest. So much to the point that my husband will call me out, “plain old turkey sandwich Brittany” he calls me, whenever he finds my choice of anything (wine, clothing, ice cream, sandwiches) either boring or just not surprising at all. This past week while I was vacationing in Florida with our family, it became a common jest while we were all hanging out and joking around. Don’t get me wrong, I was laughing too, my family is nothing but hilarious especially when we all get together and tease one another. But eventually the jovial “oh don’t worry about her, she’ll just have a turkey sandwich” jokes started to get to me.

Towards the end of our trip, my mother-in-law wanted me to come with her to get peekaboo highlights in our hair. Something fun and crazy. I’d talked about wanting to do something like it before; finally coloring my hair some wild color after separating from the military, that kind of thing. I’d said I was going to do it for a while, but every time I ended up chickening out and just getting regular highlights or color to cover up my grey hairs. Nothing fancy, per usual. I don’t know if it was the fact that the week had been crazy (a story I’ll reserve for another blog if C lets me write again) or if I was tired of being “plain old turkey sandwich” brittany, but I walked into that hair salon and told the lady to make my blonde highlights pink. I had a picture from Pintrest. it was subtle but still pink, and cool. My mother in law wanted purple highlights under her hair. Her’s turned out amazing. Mine turned out PINK. No blended highlighting here, just the whole top of my head is bright effing pink.

Now, full disclosure: I loved it at first. I can actually pull off bright pink hair. If ALL of my hair was the same color, carefully blended together it would probably look fantastic. If my hair was straight and not naturally curly it would probably look fantastic. But it’s not. My hair is crazy curly and those curls have minds of their own. My curly hair had been blown out  strait and the colors blended together pretty cool. It was really fun and perfect for Florida. 12 hours later, however,  when my curls returned to their kinky awesome selves? I started regretting my decision. 16 hours later, while my husband and I were toting our three children (which includes a set of identical twins) through a crowded airport I was starting to really think that maybe I wasn’t as cut out for pink hair as I thought. Fun fact: people tend to stare at you when you have a set of twins. I don’t know why, they just do. Even funner fact- people stare a whole hell of lot more when you have pink hair and a set of twins. “That poor woman just went off the deep end didn’t she?” (Thats me imagining what people were thinking when they saw me pushing the double stroller and dragging a three year old with me).  24hrs later, driving through Minnesota on our way back to our home in North Dakota, I had pretty much decided that I needed it to fade out a helluva lot sooner than four weeks. And now here I am, 48 hrs later writing this blog with wet hair because I just washed it with dandruff shampoo and a drop of dish soap because the internet said that would fade it out. Fun fact: it does wash it out but it does not fade it unless you do it like ten times and ain’t no body got time for that.

I am not a pink hair kind of girl. My sister in law, Mrs. Everything Kid, she’s the kind of girl who can pull off pink hair and totally rock it.  My friend the hippie mom from Colorado? She can and has had pink hair and loved it! Plain old turkey sandwich Brittany? She should have stopped when it was blonde from the bleaching (which I’ll be going back to cause that shit was awesome). I love all my pink and purple and teal and multi-colored hair peeps out there. I love that you’re confident in rocking fun colors that express who you are and what you love. But me, I’m plain and simple. I’m brunette with highlights, vanilla ice cream, coffee with cream and sugar. I’m a turkey sandwich…and that’s O.K.


To date: the author of this blog has achieved, after three hours and the efforts of a very determined stylist, a more subdued turkey sandwich coloring. 

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