The Loser’s Dogma

I don’t understand people that act out when they lose.

I get competitiveness and the urge to win. It’s more the people that play a harmless game with friends and get moody when they lose or even think they’re losing.

I say this knowing full well I have been that person numerous times, but that’s mainly because my wife is supposed to love me and not SCREW ME OVER WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THAT CARD I WAS ABOUT TO WIN I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS TO ME YOU BI-



Seriously, though. Some of the most fun I’ve had playing games, board or video variety, have been when I no longer have to worry about winning.

Let me tell you about the first time I played the game Talisman.

So I’m playing and it’s fun. I picked a Dwarf, because reasons. I’m cruising around doing Dwarfy stuff. Everyone chilling in the outter ring, having a good time (the game consists of three rings and you have to make it into the inner one by performing certain tasks in order to win).

Then suddenly, my Dwarfy butt is the only one out in the outter ring.

I am losing hard. It literally gets to a point that I will not EVER be able to win.

So, change of plans.

Now, instead of being the Dwarf who is seeking the Crown of Command, I am now the Dwarf out to gather up items to pursue my long held dream of opening a shop somewhere.

Other players die or get forced to drop their items as they fight for the Crown.

And in comes a Dwarf and his two donkeys to clean up.

It was hilarious. We all had a great time laughing at the silly Dwarf. When I eventually lost, it was decided that my new master and ruler of the realm, an elf, would allow me to open DwarfMart all over his kingdom.

Lucky me.

I had a great time and have honestly been super excited to play Talisman again any chance I get.

This is a super silly example, but I think it shows what I’m slowly getting to in my own weird, allegorical way.

It is equally as enjoyable to lose with zeal as it is to snag a victory.

If you’re in a game and it gets to a point where you feel you WILL NOT win, then just stop caring about the win. Find something you want to do in the game that might be fun or silly. Try and make it more enjoyable for the other players at the same time.

Of course, this mentality is not akin to giving up. Don’t give up. Still be looking for opportunities to get ahead. Still be in the game. Nobody likes those guys that throw their hands up and say “why am I even playing?” Keep trucking, but maybe reassess your priorities, homie.

-Come up with stories for your character.

-Decide you have a new personal mission (in Monopoly this is usually the point where someone barters for all three of a cheap property and then spends all their money building everything they can on it and no where else).

-Become an Agent of Chaos and just actively try to disrupt the game (a personal fav for me and my buddy, Jeremy, whenever we play Mario Party).

-Just drop all pretension and have some damn fun.

In the end, nobody likes a poor loser. It makes people not want to play with you. Just relax, take a couple deep breaths, and enjoy the company of your friends.


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