A Guide to Comics: THE FRIGGIN DEADPOOL EDITION

For over a year now, I have been posting these guides. I see them as helpful ways to get people into comics who may not know where to start in the thick mire of crazy stories. Every time I post one to my Facebook… This happens:

First

My brother…

Second

Just has to chime in…

Final

FINE, ALEX! GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK!

Let’s do this…


Deadpool

  • Character Summary: Wade Wilson, the Merc with the Mouth; An omnisexual, psychotic, mostly morally sound, chaotic mercenary who loves money, chimichangas, shooting people and chimichangas; Deadpool has been interpreted, reinterpreted, made crazier, made less crazy, ruined by a movie about Wolverine, and then interpreted once more; Deadpool’s main power is his incredible, near comical healing factor; mix his indestructibility with his psychosis, and Deadpool can pretty much achieve any goal thanks to sheer unstoppability; Deadpool received his powers after undergoing treatment from the Weapon X program, who offered to cure him of his cancer… or I mean… who knows, really; The magic of Deadpool is that he is really pretty much whatever the writers, readers or… really Deadpool wants him to be; Loki was his dad at one point, Doctor Bong is/was a voice in his head, T-Ray once claimed he was the real Wade Wilson, and who knows what the future will hold; Deadpool is nearly universally loved by many, from those who avidly read comics to those fairly new to the media, typically due to the comical nature of his books mixed with his constant breaking of the 4th wall and penchant for hyper-violence; Nothing like watching a anti-hero have his head chopped off and forcing his reluctant partner to screw it back on, which he inevitably does backwards to really scream “classy literary enjoyment.”
  • Common Themes: Humor, mostly; Control and restraint; Fighting against the preconceived notions of others; proving yourself; chimichangas; Boob/Boner jokes; Never giving up, despite the odds
  • Good For: People who want a funny superhero; Fans of anti-heroes; People who like action that pays ignores words like “gratuitous” or “absurd”
  • Go To Series: …Any with the word “Deadpool” in them, though my personal preference is Cable & Deadpool or Deadpool vs. Hawkeye.
  • Stand Out Stories: Deadpool vol 1 #23-25; Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe; Deadpool Kills Deadpool; Deadpool vol 1 #11

Headpool

  • First Appearance: Marvel Zombies #1
  • What’s different? Well… He’s a zombified head, first of all. Beyond that, I’ve heard he has a slightly deeper voice and prefers Ross over Chandler… monster…
  • Deadpool? Very Deadpool… Slightly decayed, but still quite Deadpool.

Lady Deadpool

  • First Appearance: Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #7
  • What’s different? She’s a woman named Wanda Wilson… Realisticaly though, that’s as far as the differences go. She is sometimes portrayed as not having the scarred/deformed face as normal Deadpool.  Beyond that, she is equally crazy/annoying.
  • Deadpool? Ms. Deadpool, if ya nasty.

Kidpool

  • First Appearance: Prelude to Deadpool Corps #2
  • What’s different? An incredibly badass, tiny version of regular Deadpool. He’s like Dennis the Menace with a more violent outlook on the woes of Mr. Wilson. Also, he wields lightsabers, for Pete’s sake. Seriously. He was all “Pete would like this, imma do it.” (okay, not really… But he does use lightsabers. Just look at him.)
  • Deadpool? Miniature, but yes. Quite Deadpool.

Dogpool

  • First Appearance: Prelude to Deadpool Corps #3
  • What’s different? Hes a dog. Received healing powers from cosmetic testing (Mascara X). He likes to lick people, though I suppose that isn’t really a difference.
  • Deadpool? Much Dead. Such Pool. Many tacos. Wow.

Wolverinepool

  • First Appearance:  Cable & Deadpool #46
  • What’s different? Claws and Cigars and pointy masks; He’ll probably eventually get neutered and be portrayed as a somewhat sappy father character, before fans get bored of his unkillability and he gets encased in adamantium**
  • Deadpool? The best at what he pools.

Pandapool

  • First Appearance:  Deadpool Kills Deadpool #2
  • What’s different? ROOOOWRRR!
  • Deadpool? RRRAAAARRRRGGH!

Championpool

  • First Appearance: As a Deadpool – Deadpool Corps #3; In general – Marvel Two-In One Annual #7
  • What’s different? He is an ancient, older than the galaxy warrior of immense power who was tricked into becoming Deadpool for like one issue and then abandoned on a deserted planet.
  • Deadpool? mmmmmmm, no. Not really.

Venompool

  • First Appearance: What If? Iron Man: Demon in an Armor #1
  • What’s different? It’s Deadpool mixed with the Venom symbiote suit; It’s about as cool as you could think; Lot’s of killing and Venom action; There is one part about, like…. jheri curls or something…. Seriously, it’s a wild ride, yo.
  • Deadpool? In all his licky goodness, yeah.

The Deadpool Kid

  • First Appearance: Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #7
  • What’s different? YEEEEEEHAW!
  • Deadpool? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW!

Pulp Deadpool

  • First Appearance: Deadpool: Pulp #1
  • What’s different? Mostly just Deadpool in a standard 1950s Pulp adventure style story; Slightly less cray cray, but still plenty of the humor and pop culture references
  • Deadpool? With pulp! (30% from concentrate)

Major Wade Wilson

  • First Appearance: Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #7
  • What’s different? Aside from being all soldierly, this Deadpool is mostly sane. He is a major in S.H.I.E.L.D. in a world were Canada and America merged to form the United States of North America.
  • Deadpool? Not very, aside from being a right-wingin’, bitter clingin’, proud clinger of his guns…

Death Mask

  • First Appearance: Amazing Spider-Man Annual #38 (Holy Shit, 38 annuals?!?! Chill, Peter…)
  • What’s different? Like Deadpool, but crammed into a snazzy set of Dr. Doom armor; Also a super genius; Also more menacing; I’m assuming he also smells better
  • Deadpool? Complete with a shiny Chrome finish

Ultimate Deadpool

  • First Appearance: Ultimate Spider-Man #91
  • What’s different? Sergeant Wadey Wilson, leader of the mercenary group The Reavers, who were hired by the Genoshan government to hunt and kill mutants on live TV for sport; Beyond that, this Deadpool seems less crazy and more just generally ruthless; He is also adamantly anti-mutant; The one main similarity is his seriously jacked up face.
  • Deadpool? Ultimately, sure.

Evil Deadpool

  • First Appearance: Deadpool (vol 2) #45
  • What’s different? Technically the same old Deadpool; You know the whole super healing factor stuff? Right? Okay, so D-Pooly’s stalker collected bits of him that were cut/shot/knocked/spanked off like a Belieber digging through a dumpster for tissues; She then eventually sewed these parts (poorly) back together, making an evil, twisted, hideous version of the Merc with a Mouth; Evil Deadpool is a go to nemesis for Deadpool, and really just conceptually fun to look at.
  • Deadpool? Muahahahahahaha…… MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!…. MmmmmmmmmMWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dreadpool

  • First Appearance: Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe #1
  • What’s different? Dreadpool is the technical ultra villain of the Deadpool Universe and possibly one of the biggest dangers to the multiverse; After severe mental manipulation, this Deadpool slipped down into the dark areas below insanity and realized that the world around him is fictional; Dreadpool then rampaged through the multiverse killing off as many characters as he could; Eventually he began recruiting Deadpools to kill other Deadpools, kicking off the events of the Deadpool kills Deadpool storyline.
  • Deadpool? From the darkest timeline…

Gwenpool

  • First Appearance: Technically a stupid variant cover, but story-wise Howard the Duck #1… No the other one…
  • What’s different? She is a blonde, normal looking girl; She has similar humor to Deadpool, though hers comes not from psychosis or inner voices, but from the fact that she believes/knows she is in a comic book; According to her, she comes from a universe where she avidly reads Marvel Comics, thus knowing how to avoid danger and not die; In her first story, she actually reveals that the whole reason she even took a super-hero name is because she noticed unnamed, unmasked individuals are the ones who die in all the chaos; She gets coaxed into being decent by the people around her, but more than anything wants to just treat the Marvel world like a giant game of Grand Theft Auto.
  • Deadpool? No. Just no. Stop it with the damn Gwen Stacy stuff… Please…

 

Ryanpool – The Bad One

  • First Appearance: A decent action flick that was a terrible Marvel movie called X-Men Origins: Wolverine
  • What’s different? Everyhting. It’s horrible. All of it. Sorry.
  • Deadpool? At first, in the flashbacks, somewhat. Afterwards? Nah. Just stop the movie, throw it out the window and pretend like this little nonsense never happened……………………………………………. Killer abs, though.

deadpool chimichangas

Ryanpool – The Good(?) One

  • First Appearance: The long awaited Deadpool Movie
  • What’s different? Doesn’t seem like much, except for, you know… Being a real physical person and all that.
  • Deadpool? I hope so. I love Ryan Reynolds as an actor and he seems really jazzed and into this role. Guess we’ll find out after this weekend!

That’s all I’m doing. There are quite a few more… And like… Now there’s the whole Mercs for Money group… Jesus… So many Deadpools.

Anyway, that’s all.

So yeah.

Enjoy the movie.

Have a good weekend.

Oh, and Alex…

Fuck Off.

~C

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