Breaking Coverage: This Week People Get Straight F***in’ WRECKED from Behind

Interesting trend in covers this week. It seems many people just wanted to go about their day and enjoy their lives when suddenly SOMEONE SNEAKS UP BEHIND THEM AND FUCKS ‘EM UP PROPER.

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Me thinks comic characters really need to be more aware of their surroundings.

I like to think this is a metaphor and the comics industry is trying to keep us mindful of the truth. It’s a new year, and we’re all making resolutions or introspectively planning out how to better ourselves. It’s nice to be reminded that you’ll be strolling along with the best intentions when life and the real world will pop out from behind a bush or partition and kick you in the spine. Gotta be ready for that.

Thank you, comics, for reminding us all of the inevitability of getting ambushed from behind!

Good lookin’ out.

On second thought, this could be a cry for help. Comics industry, are you okay? Do we need to call someone? If you need assistance, next week have your covers featuring characters blinking twice. That’s how we’ll know.

Poor comics industry. I told you that you were hanging with a bad crowd.


May All Standards Be Forgot

Well, here it comes. No matter how many times we defeat it, the year just pops back up in a new form with a different attack pattern that we have to learn on the fly. Multiple life bars are a pain, man.

Happy New Year, one and all! With 2018 coming around, I thought I’d do something I haven’t done in 3 years. So, let’s talk resolutions!

Aren’t resolutions a pain? Like, we’re being constantly told by people that we shouldn’t have them. That we should just live the year and not try to rigorously adhere to some promise we made ourselves before we knew what the world would be like after a tiny-handed narcissist Katamari’d his plump orange body all over it. SO glad I didn’t give up drunken political rants that my friends are TOTALLY into and enjoy hearing.

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Image result for twilight zone the shelter gif

I started my new year in the best way possible.

First, I got to see my favorite episode of Twilight Zone. It’s called “the Shelter.” If you haven’t seen it, find it. Watch it.

To summarize without giving too much away, a group of neighbors celebrate a birthday when the festivities are interrupted by an announcement that nuclear missiles may be on their way. Turns out, only one of the members of this group of friends built a shelter for his family, not large enough for more than three people. As his neighbors beg to be included in the shelter, we bear witness to multiple different reactions to panic.

It ends with an amazing quote: Continue reading

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I personally don’t believe in New Years Resolutions. I think they’re just a silly way for you to be disappointed in yourself on December 31st. I feel like we should just make daily resolutions and keep it at that.

However, the new year does bring with it a lot of reflecting. Things that could have been or could still be. Things I need to improve upon. Like, for instance, I would like to do more blog posts and start including “life posts” or posts where I just talk about what’s going on in the world of me. I would like to work on more short stories again, the format where I got much of my start and have been very much away from for about a year. These are all just postulates, reflections on could haves/should haves.

One thing does stand out to me: I need to take more pictures. 2015 was a heavy picture year for me. I had my wedding, my honeymoon, took a handful of trips. All along the way someone else was snapping photos left and right. Looking back on the photos of these events gives me joy, fills me with delightful memories and excitement as if I were right back there.

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For Old Wang Signs, or whatever…

A New Year is fast approaching. We did it, folks! We survived 2014. Somehow. We did it.

As 2015 rears it’s ugly little head, I hope you all have had a fantastic year and I wish many more good years for you and yours.

Now, as New Year’s Day approaches, it brings with it some unfortunate hangers-on: Resolutions.

What will you resolution be? Will you dedicate yourself to health and fitness? Will you maybe cut back on something that causes you harm? Will you spend more time with a special person? Will you finally return the calls of someone who just wants to TALK TO YOU AND TELL YOU HOW PRETTY YOU ARE I’M NOT BEING CREEPY YOU ARE BEING RUDE, JENNIFER LAWRENCE!


Whatever your resolution, sticking to something that you drunkenly determine on a Wednesday for an entire year can be difficult. That is why I have decided to help out. My gift to you is a list of 20 easy-to-keep resolutions so that you may approach the dawn of 2016 saying “Welp, 2015 was a weird year. Glad I stopped reading that idiot’s blog. Maybe this year I’ll just cut back on donuts or something.” “YAY I DID IT! GO ME!”

Here you go, folks:

  1. My resolution for 2015 is to never have a conversation about the finale of Lost with a paraplegic outside of a Chuck E. Cheese
  2. This year, I promise to not have inappropriate or dirty thoughts about Gore Verbinski
  3. For 2015, I plan to levitate less and walk a bit more
  4. I promise that I will not drink beer on the 31st day of February, April, June, September, or November.
  5. This year, when people ask me what day it is and it is Monday, I will respond by saying something along the lines of “it’s Monday.”
  6. 2015 is going to be a great year and, darn it, I WILL find Fox news depressing and irritating if it’s the last thing I do!
  7. This year I promise not to participate in any no-holds-barred, underground Inuit throat singing deathmatches.
  8. My goal is to see at least one billboard this year.
  9. I vow that this year I will sleep around all day and take every effort to be as annoying/perplexing for my human masters as I can. (because cats need resolutions too)
  10. This year, when I have to go to the bathroom, I am going to eventually go to the bathroom.
  11. Years of battle have made me cold and unfeeling. This year I turn over a new leaf. I vow to deliberately miss every target I fire at, no matter how many other Storm Troopers are around me to witness it.
  12. Years of battle have made me cold and unfeeling. This year I turn over a new leaf. I vow to deliberately miss every target I fire at, no matter how many other Nazis from the Indiana Jones movies are around me to witness it.
  13. Years of battle have made me cold and unfeeling. This year I turn over a new leaf. I vow to deliberately miss every target I fire at, no matter how many other Henchmen from a James Bond movie are around me to witness it.
  14. In 2015, I will find anything by Charli XCX annoying and nauseating.
  15. I will not throw a Nerf football to Judi Dench while she is arguing with a busboy at Fuddruckers. Never again.
  16. Sure, I’m ready for 2015. I’ve already decided that this year my resolution is to have a resolution.
  17. My goal for this year is to take the Browns to the Superbowl less than 8760 times. (Poop Reference)
  18. My goal for this year is to take the Browns to the Superbowl less than 1 time. (Sports Reference)
  19. I think this year I’m gonna shake things up. I resolve to use, see, or be within 150 miles of an electronic device at least once.
  20. I’m determined, this is the year that I turn the tables. Or maybe just table. Like a small coffee table. I will turn at least one small table this year.
  21. BONUS: Look out, 2015! This year I plan on living every day as if it were 2015!

So, there you go. Now if any annoying New Year’s resolutioners come bothering you about what your plans are, you have a nice, easy response. Now your 2015 can be laid-back, and free of any silly, self-imposed recipes for failure!

So, what is your resolution going to be? How do you feel about resolutions in general? Let me know!

And everyone have a happy New Year! Be sure to party down in the best way possible.

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