End of summer? More like… uh… end of bummer? (crap, terrible title…)

I love the end of the year. August begins easily my favorite 6-8 months of the entire year.

Birthdays a plenty.

Awesome holidays.

Time with family and friends.

Food everywhere.

Also, things just seem to cool down, literally and figuratively. I feel less anxious as the year winds down. Longer nights mean that the end of the day feels more ambiguous. I feel more awake, more clear. More capable of approaching each day and every challenge with a confident smile.

Yep, this is a good period for Chris, one that typically hangs on until early April or May. Honestly, it’s kind of a weird phenomena.

When I first noticed the trend, it seemed counter-intuitive. We go to school for roughly 13+ years of our lives (17+ if we go to college), so it would make sense for our minds to fall into the seasonal habits that this provides. One would think we would naturally feel better in the summer and mid-winter. This would correspond with breaks from school, where we would go push hoops in the streets or play some rousing games of stickball. But I personally am not great during summer. I’m lazy, consistently sweaty and generally avoiding the sun like a Fox news correspondent avoids facts. Not that I’m not a summer person. I love going to the beach or pool, grilling out, going for hikes. But on the general day to day, summer is a bit of a drag.

I am more positive and eager in the fall, which would correspond with being IN school, not out. I think this is still my body being locked in the habits I developed over 17+ years. See, I place a lot of my happiness in my ability to be productive. With the cooler weather also comes a typical increase in my production abilities. I write more, create more, travel more. So, I guess my mind is still latched into the idea that the two “semesters” are productive times: periods of work and learning and mental stimulation. This for me translates directly into me accomplishing more of the things I love and thus results in a happier Chris.

The short message here: Stay in school kiddies.

Happy end of summer everyone.

~C

I Have Returned

I am back from New York, safe and sound.

My trip was a very impromptu journey. My best friend’s grandfather passed away a week or so ago and they were heading up to NY for the burial service. They were leaving on Friday and my friend, Matt, asked me on Tuesday if I would like to join them. Having only two days notice, I did exactly what the responsible thing was:

I said yes.

You see, Matt and his mother had been doing a lot for his grandfather, in terms of taking care of him and being there for him during the final and hardest stage of his life. Its certainly not an easy thing to do, taking care of someone like that, but they handled it with strength and determination, the same drive that I’ve seen in Matt and has drawn me to him creatively for years now. However, with his grandfather’s passing I could tell one thing in my friend: that he was tired. He and his mother just needed some support: someone to crack jokes from time to time, help keep things organized, and take Matt out for drinks to unwind at the end of a busy day of being with family and dealing with logistical stuff. I don’t know how effective I was, being that I never find myself successful at anything, but I could tell on occasion that the little benefit my presence provided was at least significant enough to keep the two of them smiling. Overall, I thank them for letting me be a part of the experience and again offer my condolences for their loss.

What I take from all this is that sometimes doing something impulsive isn’t about doing something entirely selfish or leisurely. Sometimes it’s about dropping what you’re doing to help a friend. Cancel a weekend plan to help a friend move into a new place. Get out of work early because a friend broke down on the side of the road somewhere. I know I’ve talked about the importance of spontaneity on here before, and I stand behind that. However, we can’t let our rigid lives and yearning for leisure get in the way of the rewarding feeling that comes with just being there for someone. Hell, a year ago, I never would have done this. I would have been too afraid to ask off from work, or just instantly convinced myself that I couldn’t do it. But I am so glad I did, as getting to bond with one of my closest friends was exactly what I needed right now.

I wish Matt and his mother the best of luck and good health for years to come. And I want them both to know that I will gladly be there for them if ever they need me.

In Memoriam
Paul Baptist Kass
1931 – 2015

~C

More Like BORED Games…

Let’s face facts, the classics never die, but they also never really improve to awesome. There’s only so many times you play 6 hours of Monopoly only to land on someone’s Boardwalk with like fifty hotels as they smirk and go “uh oh, I don’t think you’ll have enough” and all you want to do is punch them in their stupid face but you can’t because it’s your nephew and he’s like 5, which stings even more.

Well, as my continuing attempt to improve the world, I have come up with a few variations on classic games to make them, I don’t know… more… creative, I suppose. (Note: These are probably more enjoyable with booze)

Here it is. My List of Variations on Classic Boardgames (that there’s a Google line, yessir):

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Co-opoly:

  • Need: One copy of Monopoly (any variation), 4 or 6 players, two unclaimed game pieces (two different coins would also work)
  • Summary: Players will form businesses and acquire property from a collective pool of money. A randomly controlled piece will represent the fluctuating nature of the economy, and ultimately screw some people over.
  • Rules:
  • Split into two/three teams of two.
  • Divvy out the money as per the core Monopoly rules, giving each player the designated amount of bills, however each teammate’s money will ultimately be combined to form that team’s money pool.
  • Come up with goofy team names, preferably representing your business name.
  • Each player needs their own game piece despite being on a team. They will move across the board individually and be able to buy property and whatnot on their own. However, their money for these activities will come from their team money, meaning it would be important for them to discuss any acquisitions with their business partner.
  • NOTE: This is why it is important for team money to be combined, despite players still moving and acting individually.
  • Team order should progress so that one member of each team goes before the member of the other team. Thus, with two teams, the order would be ABAB, and with three it would be ABCABC
  • The game proceeds like normal, going until only one business is not bankrupt or until players are bored and it’s 5 in the morning.
  • There are three main rule changes:
  • Jail- If one player ends up in jail, they are in there for some sort of corporate fraud or insider trading. As such, their teammate is an accomplice. The player in jail has three rounds to roll doubles with no option to pay a $50 fine to get out of jail. After those three rounds, their partner joins them in jail as an accomplice. Both players now have three rounds to get out of jail or can pay a joint ($50 x 2 = $100) fine. One player may not leave jail without the other, so if one player decides to skip the rolling, he must also post bail for his partner. If they fail to roll doubles after three rounds, they have to play the $100 fine.
  • Swedish Bank Account- If a player lands on any space that provides them with money (I.E. Chance Cards, Passing “GO,” Free Parking, Etc.) They have the option to set aside any portion of this money as their “luxury fund.” Essentially, this money can come in and out of play at that players leisure and represents their personal bank account. All payments for property tax and whatnot will come directly from the company’s funds, but the players with private accounts can supplement their company’s account as they see fit. At the end of the game, if a player’s company goes belly up and she has more personal funds than her teammate, then she gets the pleasure of having lost less than her partner and can rub it in his face that he’s in the poor house and she is sipping pina coladas in Maui. There is little benefit to the private accounts except to help regulate funds, keep money from an over-eager partner, and to have some sweet bragging points to ruin a friendship. However, if a player’s partner feels that person is setting aside too much and not investing back into their company, they can have that person arrested for laundering. The whole thing goes to court, which is represented by both players rolling a D6. If the defendant rolls higher, they have to pay a $200 payment for lawyer fees, but ultimately get off scot-free. However, if the accuser rolls higher, then the defendant goes to jail for D6 turns and all their private account is dispersed, with half going into the bank and half going to charity funds (Free Parking). The company has to pay $100 to the bank for lawyer fees.
  • Boom and Recession- These economic cycles are represented by the two unclaimed game pieces on the board. The Boom piece moves anytime doubles are rolled (even if rolled by a player in jail). It moves the amount rolled. If Boom lands on a space owned by a player it provides that player with 2D6 x 10 dollars (for example, if it rolls a 5, the company gets $50). On a roll of doubles, that player can chose to either A) take $$$, B) place a house on that space for half price or C) take a chance card. If Boom lands on a space with a player, that player receives $200, like passing GO. The Recession piece moves every time a 6 is rolled. Unlike the Boom, the Recession rolls a separate movement die, which is one D6. If the Recession lands on a place owned by a player company, that company loses 2D6 x 10 dollars (for example, if it rolls a 5, the company loses $50). On a roll of doubles, disaster has occurred and the space loses one house in addition to the amount displayed on the dice (if a space has a hotel, it is reverted down to four houses). If the Recession lands on the same space as a player, that player loses 1D6 x 100 (so, on a roll of 5, that player loses $500). On a roll of 6, the company is being audited and players can either A) pay the $600 or B) go to jail.

Jules Winnfield the Game:

  • Needs: A Copy of Guess Who, 2/4 players, booze
  • Summary: Players compete in a charades style game of Guess Who, where the only thing they can ask is “Does he look like a bitch?” with different body language and inflection to accompany.
  • Rules:
  • Game plays exactly like a game of guess who, where opposing players take turns trying to guess the character that the other player selected by asking relevant questions.
  • However, these players are all taking the role of Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction and can thus only ask the all important question “Does he look like a bitch?”
  • It’s up to them to use proper inflection and body language to relay what their actual questions is, and it’s up to the person across from them to understand it.
  • Play continues until one player reduces their board to all but one character. They then shout “DOES Character Name LOOK LIKE A BITCH!” If they are correct, they win. If they are wrong, they lose.
  • A 3rd and 4th player may be added as teammates who work as spotters to streamline the game a bit. These spotters will sit with the opponent of their team and watch. If at any point the opponent drops the tile for the character your team has selected, the spotter will call it out and the opponent automatically loses. The addition of the spotter is simply to end the game early if there is any miscommnication.
  • This game will most DEFINITELY result in a lot of people not guessing correctly. It’s more fun for the rare chance that someone actually succeeds.
  • With the above note, this would probably be more fun with alcohol involved.

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Anti-Trust-Opoly:

  • Needs: Two copies of Monopoly, 4-6 players
  • Summary: Players compete with one person (representing the Big Corporation) has considerably more funds and resources than the others
  • Rules:
  • Decide who will be playing the Big Corporation; all other players will be the Small Businesses
  • Divvy out the money to all the Small Businesses as per the Monopoly rules. The Big Corporation player will get X times the starting amount, where X equals the amount of Small Businesses (Thus, if there are 4 Small Business players, the Big Corporation starts with 4 times the starting amount). This is why you need two copies of monopoly, because you will probably need to let the Big Corporation player have his own set money.
  • Remove all “get out of jail free” cards from the decks
  • Each Small Business starts with one randomly selected property in their control. The Big Corporation player should be the one to shuffle and distribute these properties.
  • The Big Corporation will always go first and the play order proceeds clockwise from that player
  • Jail- if the Big Corporation goes to jail, they follow the same rules as found in classic Monopoly. If the Small Businesses go to jail, they have three turns to roll doubles. If they fail, they must give a property (randomly selected) to the Big Corporation. If they do not have any property, they are considered bankrupt and are out of the game.
  • The Big Corporation wins if they own X complete sets of properties, where X equals the original number of Small Businesses. A complete set is when a player owns every card in a particular color, railroad or utility.
  • If a player is knocked out of the game, the Big Corporation DOES NOT now have to collect one less complete set. The number is based on how many Small Businesses were present AT START OF GAME
  • The Big Corporation CANNOT include the two utilities as their complete sets. They may still buy these, but they cannot win with them.
  • The Big Corporation also wins if all Small Businesses are bankrupted.
  • The Small Businesses win if they bankrupt the Big Corporation or if each Small Business owns a complete set and can hold on to them for three rounds. In other words, once the last Small Business to acquire a complete set purchases their last needed card, it must make it fully around the turn order to that person three times without a) a Small Business losing a property b) the Big Corporation gaining the required amount of complete sets. The person who was last to complete a set will be the last player to go.
  • If one person is knocked out of the game, and the remaining businesses all have complete sets, this begins the win scenario. The three turns will begin with the next Small Business player to go after the player is eliminated.
  • The Small Businesses CAN include the Utilities as their complete sets.
  • If at any point a Small Business manages to meet the win condition for the Big Corporation, their business has become a Big Corporation and immediately defeats all other players (i.e. if a Small Business collects X complete sets, they have ousted the original Corporation as dominant and instantly win the game, screwing over the smaller, weaker businesses that once were their compatriots).
  • NOTE: Though small businesses are technically on a team, they are still REQUIRED to pay when landing on another player’s property. They may be friends, but this is business, people…

Reflecting on Life:

  • Needs: One copy of The Game of Life
  • Summary: Now aged and resting, players reminisce on their lives leading up to their current situation.
  • Rules:
  • The focus of this game is more to be narrative and silly than have a defined winner and loser
  • Players take on the roles of elderly people sitting around a table reminiscing about their lives.
  • At the start of the game, each player selects a piece, randomly chooses an occupation, and selects how many kids they want or if they have a spouse, and randomly selects a house.
  • Play proceeds as is usual in this game, except players will be moving backwards across the board, starting at what is typically the finish.
  • Players need to be in character and narrate as things happen in their lives. All cards involving career or housing change happen in reverse (i.e. changing jobs, you will explain why you went from being a doctor [your new card] to being a plumber [your starter card])
  • Any acquisition of large sums of money must also come with a story of how you lost that money in the past.
  • Landing on marriage or child related spaces result in a loss of that family piece.
  • The fun of this game comes from the stories you make up and the fact that INEVITABLY something won’t match up. Say, for instance, someone starts with only two kids, but then draws lands on ANOTHER kid space, having no kids to remove. This should be narrated with some sort of funny anecdote like “A yes, my eldest child, Bernie. I try to forget about Bernie. On account of his tastes in men. Or something to that effect.
  • This is more a narrative, role playing type game akin to Fiasco and other freeform RPG’s. Players should feel free to go crazy and have fun with their characters.

I might have more at some point, but this is all for now. Get out there and play!

~C

Life Rushing At Me

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Symbolism?

It’s been a busy year so far.

I awoke this morning to news that I now have two brand new baby nieces. My brother and his wife just brought two beautiful twin girls into the world, and I couldn’t be happier for them. Also, twins, which is pretty cool. I’ve known a handful of twins in my life, but never been related to any. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me but that is kind of exciting.

And today I find myself reflecting on my life and the things that have happened to me, even just those of this year. Not a few weeks ago I got married to someone I have been with for almost a third of my life already (good Lord…) and now that I’m far enough away from the moment, the details flood in to me. Maybe it’s just me being me, but I look at all the things I would do differently about the wedding, small details mostly, as I actually found the entire thing to be very close to perfect and very much “us” in terms of the general feel of the day. Like, I would have moved the dancing inside and out of the sun. I probably would have enjoyed the food more (I never got a damn omelette). I think about and wonder how that day will stick in my memory, especially with the fact that my brother was not able to be there. He decided it was better to be at home with his pregnant wife, and I agreed with him. He made a rational, adult decision and I supported him 100%, but you never see yourself getting married without your closest family member by your side.

And I realize we aren’t as close as we once were, when we were young. It’s nobody’s fault per se, just how things turned out. My brother is in the Air Force and is moving all over the country. Between that and my general hatred of phone calls, we don’t talk much, and we see each other considerably less. Granted, every time we actually do get to spend time together, it is the definition of fun. We crack jokes, laugh, mess with our mom, typical brother stuff. I love the holidays and vacations and whatnot where for a few days it feels like nothing has changed.

But now his job has him moving way out to North Dakota, and I can’t help but wonder what this means. And I can’t help but feel angry that my ability to spend time with my family is being affected this way.

I really wanted to have some presence in the lives of my nieces and nephews during their formative years. And now I’m worried I’ll be relegated to “cool Uncle Chris: the guy we see once every two years or so, mainly just because he lives near Disney World.”

And it makes me angry. It does. At nobody in particular. Just at life in general.

I don’t make this post to cheapen anything that’s happened or make anyone feel bad. I guess it’s just good to reflect on reality from time to time. Too often due to the fictional discourses around us are we prone to flights of romance and high hopes. We expect every event and happenstance in our life to share the same magical allure as it does on the page or the TV screen. But more often than not, it doesn’t. Someone can’t make the important event in your life and you have to accept it. Someone goes to war and doesn’t come back. Someone forgets something important to you and your relationship isn’t improved from the experience. Someone moves away and you drift apart. Fights occur and are never reconciled. You don’t get that perfect job.

Though doleful, these are things that can make us better in the long run. Reality isn’t entirely just a bundle of disappointments, one after the other. It’s on us to look to the positives, and if we can’t find any nearby to make our own damn happiness. We can be made stronger by our reaction to things, not by having only fortune and order everyday. That makes us weak, placated. That puts us in a worse position when something does go differently than expected. We have to adapt and take things as they come, and thus I appreciate life for it’s elegant directness, it’s unabashed disregard for our daily itinerary. Reality’s beauty is in it’s inability to be what you expect, to sometimes defy plans and predictions.

I want to end by saying how happy I am for Alex and Brittany and their new baby girls. I am so excited for the chance to meet them, whenever that may be. And though he can’t read this (because he’s two), I just want to tell Ben that I know he’ll be a fantastic older brother.

Because he’ll learn from the best.

Welcome to the world, Sadie and Daisy

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~C

Awesome Fun Time Over: Now Returning To Real World

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Last week was eventful mainly because…

I got hitched!

Yes, yes, someone finally made an honest woman out of me.

er… uh… man…

Thank you to everyone who came and braved the sunshine to be with Tee and I. It really meant a lot to see everyone who came down to Saint Augustine and had fun with us. We had a blast and are so very tired and sun-burnt.

Also, I finally no longer have to call Tee my “fiance” which is just an awkward word.

Yep, she’s my “ball and chain” now. Much better.

Admittedly, though, it’s very bittersweet that the wedding is over. Tee and I have been living together for almost a decade before even tying the knot, so there isn’t a lot of the “newlywed” mystique. We gave ourselves a long engagement and spent the better part of a year planning and saving for this shindig, and now it’s just over. Kind of bumming me out.

That’s the worst part of vacations, though: The week back. It always seems rainier/ cloudier/ busier/ more boring than any other week. It’s like you spent so much time looking forward to something, and then it’s over and the future looks like this gray mass of monotony that will never end.

That is, until you plan something else.

See, I feel like life should be about adventure. Call it escapism, call it wanderlust, whatever, but travel, adventure and spontaneity blended together all make life enjoyable, in my opinion. I feel like life should be lived from adventure to adventure. Give yourself something to look forward to. When that fun vacation ends, plan a new one! Like me, for instance, awesome week with my closest friends and family in Saint Augustine is over, and that bites, but already I am planning:

  • My Honeymoon Roadtrip for April
  • A weekend in Daytona at the end of summer with my friends
  • A Vegas trip for next year (co-planned by my bud/best man Ryan)

Now, I’m sure there are a lot of live-in-the-moment peeps that are thinking “if you live only in the future, you miss the present,” and honestly, I agree. The planning just helps the day by day seem worth it. It isn’t to say that you should live your life only looking forward to what comes next, but having something to be excited about makes the harder days/weeks/months seem a little easier to cope with.

But we should live in the moment as well. Adventure doesn’t have to be planned or follow itinerary. Sometimes it’s as simple as doing something out of the ordinary. Take a quick daytrip to somewhere an hour or so away. Go see a movie late at night even though you have work in the morning. Check out a new restaurant or bar on the other side of town. Check out a shop you’ve never been in before even if it maybe doesn’t sell things you necessarily care about. Just mix things up.

Routine is good, when it involves accomplishment and making yourself better. When it consumes every hour of your day by making each passing moment identical to its predecessor, then it becomes deadly. Don’t waste your life doing the same thing day by day until you realize there is not time left. Mix it up. Live by living.

Anywho, thanks again to everyone who joined us for the wedding. It was a beautiful day and I am glad to have shared it with everyone who came.

Now, back to work.

~C