Also, it has Candy Crush…

I don’t understand people who shame others for using their smart phones excessively. Like, I get parts of it. It’s rude to have your face glued to your phone, constantly texting people while at work or socializing with others. I personally get annoyed with people when I’m hanging out and they’re just tap tapping away texts to someone else, especially when that crap happens while we’re trying to play an RPG or board game [I actually put a rule into play for game nights called the “attentive rule” wherein if you are texting, snoozing, browsing the web, or other forms of being pre-occupied, you will be asked to leave, because friendships like rules, right (file under: none of my friends like me)]. However, the above issues apply to more than just texting. Talking/watching TV/simply looking away while someone is talking is as rude as texting. Excessively doing anything that isn’t work while at work is as irresponsible as being on reddit the whole day.

What I’m talking about is the class of people that think smart phones make us weaker. This idea that we as a human race have crippled ourselves by becoming reliant on technology. It’s true that in a cataclysmic emergency, many may be weakened by the lack of wifi and being unable to post “OMG A LEVIATHAN JUST ROSE FROM THE DEPTHS OF LAKE MICH #chitown #apocalypse” to their Insta. Sure, there are many people that can’t read a map, plenty of people that can’t spell and stupid trends and annoying viral crazes {cough spinners cough} surround us, all of which are not inherently exclusive to the smart phone era, though they may have been perpetuated by it. People constantly head to google for info and could probably barely navigate a library. Restrictions have to be put on using your phone while driving, at work, in bars, in restaurants, in schools, in hospitals, in gas stations, and especially political offices. People enjoy texting over phone calls, people livestream their food, and people do indeed stare at their little LED friend a LOT, but I think those are all necessary risks and evils for the fact that every time this technology improves, we do as well.

We have become psuedocyborgs. We are in the early stages of humanity’s merge with technology, a dawn of transhumanist possibility. Currently, we carry with us powerful computers, capable of connecting us to any bit of information, any other person, any storage cloud, any simulation or video or music, from nearly anywhere we are. Processing power that was once an entire room fitting gently into the pockets of our romphims. We can do math while dropping the kids off at the pool, research various facts while seeing a man about a dog, or listen to the newest hit songs while taking the browns to the superbowl. While, yes, it does allow of outlets to abuse that connectivity through observation, information gathering, targeted marketing and sensationalist news, it has never been easier to be INSTANTLY informed. Is there some blathering orange idiot totally non-specific politician speaking some crazy while you’re on the bus? Just a few clicks and you are informed that whatever was said is once again NOT true and you realize you are less and less surprised by that realization every day that goes by.

Portable connectivity. Vast and obtainable knowledge resting gently in our pockets, our purses, our backpacks, in that unreachable area on the side of our car seats while we’re in a drive through or on our way to work. A huge leap in just around 1 ½ to 2 decades. As this technology continues to advance and become more affordable, humanity continues to force our own evolution, to perfect itself and give access to more information, more connectivity, more overall access to the world and beyond. So let people hate. Let them judge you for playing Pokemon GO. Let them grumble when they see you texting on a park bench. Let them condescend when you need Google maps to navigate a part of town.

Let them call you “reliant.”

We’d be silly not to be.

[This post paid for by Boost mobile]


[Not really]


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